$VER: Chip'O'Matic 3.0 (7.6.94) Chip'O'Matic PROGDIR:CoM-No3 Chip'O'Matic Issue #3 This demo requires Kickstart v2.04+ (V37) to run. Consider to update your operating system!! Chip'O'Matic: Chip'O'Matic Interrupt Chip'O'Matic SoftInt AT SCHOOL LOXLEY/EQUINOX 40540168 171:02 JUST DREAMING 3 EXCALIBUR/COMPLEX 2026416127 2:03 GOSH MY FOOT SMELLS SPIROU/SENSELESS DESAJN7194 124 121:01 MILKSHAKE DELUXE SPIROU/SENSELESS DESAJN168201811131:32 CRACKING EGG SHAM/SQUASH 10920106 8 0:42 TROUBLE TAJM SHAM/SQUASH 101826 3 6 0:46 SOCRATIC HAZE DEETROY/DOODLES^SHOCK 9622 9 8 4 1:48 SCREWER DEETROY/DOODLES^SHOCK 120928 8 8 0:51 SELECT MODULE: AT SCHOOL JUST DREAMING 3 GOSH MY FOOT SMEELS MILKSHAKE DELUXE CRACKING EGG TROUBLE TAJM SOCRATIC HAZE SCREWER MODULE INFORMATION: NAME: ....................... AUTHOR: ....................... SIZE: ..... BYTES PATTERNS: .. SAMPLES: .. LENGTH: .:.. MIN. POSITIONS: .. THE DOODLES^SHOCK PRESENTS: --------------------------- C H I P ' O ' M A T I C I S S U E # 3 --------------------------- [ RELEASE DATE : 940607 ] CHIP'O'MATIC ISSUE #3 - CREDITS: ---------------------------------------- CODE..............................CHIG GRAPHICS.........................BUTCH MUSIC.............LOXLEY, SPIROU, SHAM ....................DEETROY, EXCALIBUR ---------------------------------------- COPYRIGHT 1994 DOODLES^SHOCK --------[ HELP / INSTRUCTIONS: ]-------- UP/DOWN.......SWITCH PAGE / SELECT MOD LEFT/RIGHT.................SWITCH TEXT M/T......................MOD/TEXT-MENU I.....................SHOW MODULE-INFO C/Q.......................CREDITS/QUIT SPACE/RMB......................ICONIFY ---------------------------------------- Select Text... SELECT TEXT: WRITTEN BY: =-=========================================-= THE EDITORIAL BY.......................D-ZIRE RELEASE AND SUBSCRIBE INFO..........THE STAFF BLONDE JOKES - PART A.........D-ZIRE & R-CADE BLONDE JOKES - PART B.........D-ZIRE & R-CADE COCTAIL PARTY.........................DEETROY THE SILENCER SAYS:...............THE SILENCER REVIEWED - I SAY I SAY I SAY...........R-CADE REVIEWED - THE DIVISION BELL...........D-ZIRE REVIEWED - VALKOMMEN TILL FORORTEN.....D-ZIRE RIDING THE BOARDS..................MONDO 2000 GREETINGS AND STUFF FROM...............R-CADE GREETINGS AND MESSAGES FROM............D-ZIRE GREETINGS FROM LOXLEY..................LOXLEY LAST WORDS FROM KURT COBAIN.......KURT COBAIN =-=========================================-= ============================================= ============================================= THE EDITORIAL 'The personal computer market is about the same size as the total potato chip market. Next year it will be about half the size of the pet food market and is fast approaching the total worldwide sales of pantyhose' - James Finke,Pres.,Commodore Int'l Ltd.(1982) - What can I say... issue 3 here and not more than a couple of days delayed? Well, blame it on our graphician :BUTCH! But who can blame him... what can you do beside sit at home with your computer when it's cloudy and cold outside? Well it's here and I hope this issue will be better than issue #2... we had some complains about the poor quality of the tunes... but I got LOTS of tunes just a couple of days after we've released it, so I hope this issue will satisfy you dudes alot more... and if NOT... WHO CARES? 'Contrariwise', continued Tweedledee, 'If it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it aint. Thats logic.' - LEWIS CARROLL You can always send me your modules and I'll include them on the next issue... the add is as always : David J. Elfstrom Markorgrand 22 826 35 Soderhamn SWEDEN Or just upload them at REPULSE or HYSTERIA ! signed d-Zire RELEASE INFO - CHIP'O'MATIC If you have sent some of your modules to us and we didn't use em' in this issue (or didn't use them at all) don't feel disapointed cause we've got so many chip-tunes so they might come in some of the future issues... Well yet another issue and we already delayed... too bad! If you wanna be sure of getting all the future issues or even back-issue, you can always subscribe... FOR FREE! Just send a disk with your name and address and we'll send you the future issues when they get released! David J. Elfstrom Markorgrand 22 826 35 Soderhamn SWEDEN The Staff BLONDE JOKES - A Well... here they are... lots of new blonde jokes! E N J O Y d-Zire & r-Cade doodles^shock Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball? A: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and 'The Titanic'? A: They know how many men went down on 'The Titanic'. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a telephone? A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York? A: The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common? A: They both get easier to pick-up with age. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common? A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common? A: They both wriggle when you eat them. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common? A: They both have black roots. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on her head? A: Sweet Fuck All... Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs? A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. Q: What did the blonde's mom say to her before the blonde's date? A: If you're not in bed by 12, come home. Q: What's the blonde's cheer? A: ' I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea...' Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts? A: Change. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk? A: She pulls down her panties and slides her ass along the floor! Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry? A: Because you don't have to marry them for sex! Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla? A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do. Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: Because it says right on it 'good for up to 20 pounds.' Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish? A: She drowns it. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs? A: 'Nice tits!' Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours? A: Write 'Please turn over' on both sides of a piece of paper. Q: Why aren't there many blonde gymnasts? A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor. Q: Why do blondes have legs? A: So they don't get stuck to the ground. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? A: The blonde! Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde's vagina? A: The other guys waiting their turn. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the '11' in '9-1-1'. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she'd ever been picked up by 'the fuzz'? A: 'No. But I've been swung around by the tits.' Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period. Q: What's the difference between a blonde having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: 'Oh look! Donut seeds!' Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow? A: So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits. Q: Why don't blondes breast feed? A: Because they always burn their nipples. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian? A: She kept having affairs with men! Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader. Q: What's a blondes' favourite rock group? A: Air Supply. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's? A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE! Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why did God create brunettes? A: Neither could the blondes. BLONDE JOKES - B Q: How did the dumb blonde break her leg raking leaves? A: She fell out of the tree. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? A: A blonde electrician. Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A: So brunettes can remember them. Q: Why wasn't the Virgin Mary a blonde? A: She wouldn't have been old enough to bear children! Q: What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever. Q: Why are blondes hurt by people's words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: Why do blondes have periods? A: They deserve them. Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute? A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally. Q: Why did the blonde smile when she walked the marriage aisle? A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: What did the blonde do when she got her period? A: Looked around for the bastard that must have shot her? Q: Why did they call the blonde 'twinkie'? A: She liked to be filled with cream. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: 'Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?' Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good Q: How does a blonde hold her liquor? A: By the ears. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: Why did the blonde try to steal a police car? A: She saw '911' and thought it was a Porsche. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide and seek champ. Q: How do you get a blonde pregnant? A: Come in her shoes and let the flies do the rest. Q: What's the difference between a blonde track team and a tribe of sly pygmies? A: One's a bunch a cunning runts. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and the Suez/Panama Canal? A: One's a busy ditch. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a toilet? A: A toilet won't follow you around after you use it. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster? A: In the morning a rooster says, 'Cock'll-doodl-doooo', while a blonde says, 'Any-cock'll-doooo.' Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a supermarket trolley? A: The supermarket trolley has a mind of its own. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and your job? A: Your job still sucks after 6 months. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline? A: You take off your shoes before using a trampoline. Q: What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a blonde? A: The prostitute says, 'Aren't you done yet?' The nympho says, 'Are you done already?' The blonde says, 'Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige.' Q: How do you get a blonde to marry you? A: Tell her she's pregnant. Q: What will she ask you? A: 'Is it mine?' Q: What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel? A: An air bag. Q: Why are there lip stick stains on the steering wheel after a blonde drives a car? A: Cause she blows the horn! Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on? A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. Q: Why did the blonde drive into the ditch? A: To turn the blinker off. Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH? A: A blonde going through a flashing red light. Q: What is happening when you hear varoom...screech, varoom...screech, varoom...screech.....? A: A blonde trying to drive through an intersection with a flashing red light. Q: Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? A: So her male would get delivered to the right box. Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at a drive-in movie theater? A: They went to see 'Closed for the Winter'. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is dating? A: By the buckle print on her forehead. Q: How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend? A: He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her forehead. Q: What is the blonde's chronic speech impediment? A: She can't say 'No'. Q: What did they name the offspring of a blonde and a Puerto Rican? A: Retardo. Q: What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning? A: A visitor. Q: Why did the blonde wear condoms on her ears? A: So she wouldn't get Hearing Aides. Q: How can you tell if a blonde works in an office? A: A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces. Q: Why can't blondes put in light bulbs? A: They keep breaking them with the hammers. Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air. Q: Did you hear about the blonde coyote? A: Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck. Q: Why did the blonde take her typewriter to the doctor? A: She thought it was pregnant because missed a period. Q: When is it legal to shoot a blonde in the head? A: When you have a tire pump to reinflate it! Q: What is a blonde's favorite part of a gas station? A: The Air Pump! Q: How do you measure a blonde's intelligence? A: Stick a tire pressure gauge in her ear! Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License? A: Because she got an F in sex. Q: What do you call two nuns and a blonde? A: Two tight ends and a wide receiver. Q: Did you here about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: She missed. Q. How can you tell that a blonde's having a bad day. A. She has a tampon tucked behind her ear, and she can't find her pencil. Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunt'n peckers. Q: What do you call a blond mother-in-law? A: An air bag. Q: Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee? A: It's too hard to re-train them. Q: What do blondes wear behind their ears to attract men. A: Their heels. Q: Why don't blondes have elevator jobs? A: They don't know the route. Q: Why do blondes work seven days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them on Monday. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board? A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board. Q: What is foreplay for a blonde? A: Thirty minutes of begging. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a broom closet? A: Only two men fit inside a broom closet at once. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A: Only one person can use the phone at once. Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They've both swallowed a lot of semen. Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase? A: 'It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt.' Q: How does a blonde commit suicide? A: She gathers her clothes into a pile and jumps off. COCTAIL PARTY Coctail party ============= I am now going to tell you about a small party I was to in Lingaro outside Hudiksvall, Sweden. It wasn't any computer related party, it was an ordinary get-as-drunk-as-possible party. It was I (Deetroy) and my friend Tomte-dyrkaren (Santa claus-Worshipper) that where invited to a friends 30'ieth birthday party (a real wet one). We brought 1.5 Litres of Arskogen special (Moonshine liquers) and a lot of soda and other stuff. When we arrived, after having a drink at Tomatens (The tomato's) place, 22.00 about 60% of the people had gone to bed already due to that they had been drinking too much during the day. But we didn't care! We decided to invent some new drinks! Soon there will follow some drink recepies but first I'll write a list of what you might need. CONTENTS: Lots of Moonshine (With a distinct taste of finkel!) Grapefruit soda, White wine (sweet), Concentrated lemon Pure lemonade, HP sauce, Cold coffe, LeMixx tom collins mix Concentrated Blackkurant juice, Rose-hip cream, Sugar Club soda, Coca Cola, Lea & perrins worcestershire sauce Instead of finkel you can try with 70% Vodka and 30% Teachers wiskey. Lea & perrins worcestershire sauce contains: vinegar molasses sugar salt garlic sardelles shallot spices aroma Now for the drinks. DRINKS ====== Domenican nuisance grog ======================= Arskogen special Grapefruit White Wine Concentrated lemon Pure lemonade Stomach drill ============= 50% Arskogen special 50% Grapefruit soda Lennart Swan ============ 50% Arskogen special 50% HP sauce Shit on the dick ================ 50% Arskogen special 50% Lea & Perrins worcestershire sauce The bomb of Nordanstig ====================== Arskogen special Grapefruit Concentrated Blackkurant juice LeMixx Tom collins mix Budget dirt =========== Arskogen special Cold coffe Rose-hip cream Lea & Perrins worcestershire sauce Grapefruit Pure lemonade LeMixx Tom collins mix Concentrated lemon Concentrated Blackkurant juice White wine and Two bits of sugar Bergsjo Killer ============== Arskogen special cold coffe Grapefruit Concentrated Blackkurant juice LeMixx Tom collins mix White Wine Pure lemonade Coca Cola Concentrated lemon Club soda Well that's all the drinks. None of them are particulary well tasting, but then who cares as long as you are getting drunk? If you try 'shit on the dick'. Be careful. It tastes just the way it sounds!! Have a nice farmer coctail party. Signed: DEETROY / Doodles ^ Shock THE SILENCER SAYS: The scene is lame! Trading is Booring! Everybody is a member of atleast 15 groups. All Cards die after 3 hours. Partyline stinks. The warez are crap. 4 Channel 8 bit muzak suxx. You get busted carding stuff. Parties keeps getting lamer. My mouse broke down last week. 1000- CPS suxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Diskdrives are SLOW! Bah! Borre is a looser! DMS from Parcon is a ripoff. Definition of a Twit - Doesn't compute. I have a cold. Demo's aren't too fun anymore. All /X tools are the same. Coderippers (texedders) can go to hell! The army is waiting - Major lame! Macroman is a sad CP. Frogman renamed to The Undertaker Frogman changed his BBS number Frogman doesn't wanna be hated hahah Germans/Norweigans get busted. Allways outta money. Nothing's on TV. ditditditdahdahdahditditdit War on the Legion Rainman renamed to D-ZOD, oops! MACROMAN RENAMED TO MADDOG! War Games The Demolition In My Head My Monitor Keeps Going Dead Communication Breaking Down Dead Bodys Laying All Around BB is allmost dead. Didadodudidado-chhhh-mipbeep-kachink Blue Boxing RUULEZ! This is getting booring... beep beep beep I SAY I SAY I SAY / ERASURE So, they have done it again! Another hit-record by Erasure was released in the middle of May. This one, called 'I Say, I Say, I Say' takes off where the last album 'Chorus' ended and builds on the same kind of ingeniously easy to remember but oh-so-hard-to-write synth-pop tunes. The production this time is clearer, stronger and it lifts Andy Bell's voice to places it never visited before. This may have something to do with their change of producer from one Martyn to another. (Phillips to Ware). But I think the main reason is the fact that they've recorded the vocals first this time and then built the music around it. As Vince Clarke said 'This time there isn't a sound present that don't belong there'. There are 10 songs in all and some of the strongest pieces I think is the opening-track 'Take Me Back', 'Man In The Moon', 'All Through The Years' and the final track 'Because You're So Sweet'. Many of the tunes opens up with just the vocals and then it builds up adding small but significant sounds along the way. Remove any of them and the track would be less perfect. One song that could have been allowed a little extra time is the song 'Miracle' which would have grown into an epic tune where each of its parts could have stood alone as a separate song, now it seems a bit squeezed into the 4 minutes it is. And since the album only is about 45 minutes there sure was room left for some experimentation... There's even a song for all those who loved the 'hard-core' Erasure of 'Love To Hate You' on the 'Chorus' album. This time it's called 'Run To The Sun' and is bound to be releas- ed as a single. Sadly so, because I think it's the weakest tune of the whole album. I has been almost 3 years since their last release,(I'm not counting the 'Abba-esque' record nor the 'Pop' collection), and I think it looks like Vince and Andy is back to teach the world what Erasure is really about. I know they both regrets the Abba-esque album by now, as Andy said 'It killed everything that was Erasure and what Erasure stood for.' 'It's a great record and it was real fun to make, but it got a bit too big.' I agree, and I hope that 'I Say I Say I Say' will be at least as big and perhaps even bigger. It sure has the potentials. I'll give it 9 out of 10! r-Cade THE DIVISION BELL / PINK FLOYD As a big fan of the OLD Pink Floyd records I really was in X-TAZY when I first heard the single 'Take It Back'! But somewhere in the middle I wondered 'Have they done what most groups sometimes do? Like MEATLOAF? Squeeze more money out of the SAME OLD STYLE AND MUSIC? Well... even if that's the case I really DONT MIND! The album is a milestone in in the history of an AWESOME group... P I N K F L O Y D THE DIVISON BELL throws Pink Floyd back to the sound of the brilliant records 'Wish You Where Here', 'The Wall' and ofcoz 'Dark Side Of The Moon'! With awesome production by David Gilmour and Bob Ezrin! (as on The Wall!) The first track on the album 'Cluster One' is a bit odd but is a REAL experience in high volume and headphones! The highlights on the album is: 'COMING BACK TO LIFE' and 'KEEP TALKING' featuring Stephen Hawing on 'Vocals' or should I say SPEAK-SYNTHETICS ?! The record will reach it's highest peek on the last track 'HIGH HOPES' 'Beyond the horizon of the place we lived when we were young In a world of magnets and miracles Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary The ringing of the division bell had begun' Not ONLY because I'm a big fan of Pink Floyd will I give it a high rating but it's a very good album with more highs then lows... and it's not a typical 90'ties album! No less then 8 out of 10 would be fair! d-Zire VALKOMMEN TILL FORORTEN / THE LATIN KINGS 0 out of 10 no more no less! d-Zire 'The fault lies not with our technologies but with our systems.' - ROGER LEVIAN RIDING THE BOARDS Riding the BoardzZz A Guided Tour of the Underground (An article taken from MONDO 2000 Issue 8) You are going to hear the Real Voice of the kid down the block. He's handsome, what they call clean cut. He has a way to go before he passes the law's marginal threshold of eighteen years, and he's been online for over two years. You'd never guess that he can talk like this. He starts out talking tough, and ends with high idealism that teachers hope to generate in their kids. But his contempt for the education that America offers him is total. His education is taking place on the wire. He's growing up in cyberspace, growing up literate in a text-based culture that the kids have created for themselves. And at school, he says, the computer illiterates are grooming him for the car wash. Does he scare you? Very good. This is what the best young minds are hacking from what they percive to be present reality. And as one of the Boards tells you as you log in: Future? No future! Listen now. - St. Jude I dial... and at the delicious sound of the tone... punch in the magic numbers that will permit me to make thousands of dollors worth of calls, courtesy of my new-found host. Another night on the line. For me, this all started a few years back, at reform skewl. A very good phriend introduced me to the wonderful world of Cybercrime. He dazzled me with tales of breaking into files of the head of the skewl and forwarding telephone calls for Grand Central to the homes of disliked acquaintances. Being the mischievous little fucker that I was, and having the fortune to be blessed with a sharp mind, I saw a golden oppertunity: to wreak havoc in a new and intellectually stimulating way. When I obtained a computer the following year, I had no trouble keeping myself occupied. The top of one of my favorite anarchist newspapers reads, 'Information Is Strength. Knowledge Is Power'-truer than ever in what we're told is the Information Age. Fortunately, by the time I had learned enough to be a significant threat, I had also learned to be fairly responsible. As you know, the hacker-as-villain was invented by the currupt swine in our government, and perpetuated by our media. As most of you probably also know, the government is full of shit. Our old buddies in office fight to keep people over those they supposedly serve. America truly is a melting pot - the scum rises to the top and everyone on the bottom gets burned. But I digress... Anyway, there are very few hackers who fit the villain description. Those hackers who are belligerent and destructive are generally ostracized by the rest of the HP (Hack/Preak) community. There was a recent post on a board by some idiot who stated that you should juice a system for all it's worth and then crash it, destroy everything on there. The responses he got from other hackers ranged from insults to outright threats. Assholes like this represent a problem not only to victims they abuse, but also to the rest of the underground community. That settled, we can get on with this. When you enter the world of the computer undergound, you're going to have to nevigate through a virtual ocean of jargon. A term which you may not know is 'phreak.' The word is 'ph' as in phone + freak. It comes from that ancient time of Peace, Love and Happiness (not to mention Grass, Acid and Fellatio) known to us as the late 60's. Everyone who was anyone back then was some kind of freak - so we're told. Those freaks who were fond of abusing the telephone system were Phreaks. Probably the most famous phreak was Cap'n Crunch, who placed a phone call around the world to himself using the wonderful (and now obsolete for most U.S. phonelines) Blue Box. While I'd love to tell you about Cap'n Crunch and the phorephathers of phreaking, I'm merely going off on a tangent. If you'd like to learn more, get yourself a copy of 'Secrets of the Little Blue Box,' which appeared in Esquire in 1971. Anyway, a phreak is to phones as a hacker is to computers. Phreaking includes breaking into and dialing out from PBXs, tapping phones, ETF (Electronic Toll Fraud), and most other exploratory or experimental activity involving phonelines or phone networks. A phreak is one who phreaks. OK. Here are some other terms: BBS OR BOARD - a computer Bulletin Board System. An underground BBS is a place where members of the computer underground can call and exchange files, as well as infomation. BOXING - Using a 'box.' Boxes are devices made to manipulate the phone system. The Black Box allows anyone calling a similarly equipped phone to avoid any charges. The Red Box simulates the tones made by a pay phone to indicate that money has been inserted, thus allowing unlimited phree calls from many payphones. There is a multi-use everything box, the Rainbow Box, which is most useful in Europe, available from our Dutch friends. CODEZ - Phone numbers and authorization codes allowing one to make free phone calls by way of extenders, such as PBXs. CODEZ KID - A term used for people who exist in the computer inderground merely to find codes for making free calls. They are looked down upon by real hackers and phreaks, because of their ignorance. CARDING - Purchasing with a fraudulent credit card. HPCAV - An abbreviation for Hack Phreak Card Anarchy Virus, which sums up major interests in the computer underground. Virus, of course, refers to computer viruses and Trojan horses. Another popular term is HP, Hack/Phreak. PIRATE - (Also called a cracker) One who cracks the copy protection on copyrighted software. PBX - Private Branch Exchange, a local phone network usually internal to a corporation. Phreakers find an access number into a PBX, then dial an authorization code to get an outside line, for unlimited planetwide calls, toll-phree. SOCIAL ENGINEERING - Conning favors or infomation (such as passwords or codes) from authorized personnel by pretending to be a fellow employee or a hapless customer. Contrary to popular belief, this is the way many accounts, passwords, and other nice things sought by hackers are obtained, rather than by brute-force hacking. VMB - Voice Mail Box. You know what this is. Hackers/Phreaks/codez kidz use them several ways. One, this is a way others can contact hir, since a hacker will never give out hir real number - that would blow hir anonymity, the most sacred thing to any HP. Second is for codelines. A codeline is a VMB that is run by a phreak/codez kid who puts voice messages with news, calling card and credit card numbers, codes, accounts on various systems, and other current goodies. There are several varieties of underground boards. First, there are the HP boards. On a good HP board, one would expect to find many HPCAV files to download. This sort of board also supports a message base where one can correspond with other members of the computer underground on everything from hacking to music. These message bases are by no means limited to the board itself, either. There are scores of nets in exstence, linking only a few local boards, or dozens of boards all over the country. There are even some nets in the underground that are international - linking underground bulletin boards from countries all over the world. The other main type of board you will find in the computer underground is the Pirate or 'Warez' board. A 'Ware' is copyrighted software, and the warez boards are centered around software collecting, cracking, cracking groups, and related activities, with less of an emphasis on HP. I will go into more detail about 'warez dOOdz' and their little subculture later. Most of them are even more ingnorant than codez kids. Not all boards fall solely into one of those categories; many have aspects of both. There are also boards that are more specific than the above, like boards that deal stricly with viruses and Trojan horses. And, while there are many people who are interested in both HP and also like to play games, there is an element of antipathy in the HP scene toward people who devote all their time to getting more games and who really don't know jack-shit about anything else. Also, there's the hardware elitism factor. You see, games distributed in the pirate world are often huge - we're talking upwards of half a dozen megs a pop for some of them. This places importance on high speed (9600bps and up, preferably HST or dual standard) modems and extremely obese (from a few hundred megs to up in the gigabytes) hard drives. What has happened is that users are restricted on the pirate boards just because of there data rate. I know people who would be among the most productive there, but are denied membership because they transfer files at 2400 bps. Not only that, but it seems that any rug rat with parents rich/stupid enough to shell out $900-$1200 for a modem is immediately eligible for membership. This is ridiculous. I've seen supposedly elite warez dOOdz who can't even operate their fucking PCs without a menu-driven shell program. Pathetic, eh? I shit you not. I think the intelligentsia of the pirate community better do something about this crap before it's too late. Now, in the pirate scene and all its lameness, there is an island of intelligence. This is the people who crack the games. Cracking is the process of removing or defeating a copy protect or other protection from copyrighted software. On any decent pirate board, all the games and other software will be cracked - most of this thanks to cracking groups who compete with each other. This competition guarantees both a wide variety of new games for the warez geeks and losses of millions of dollors for the software companies who should be getting something out of this, but don't. If you log onto any decent pirate board, you will see captions such as '0 day warez,' which means that many of the games sold down at your local Softdick Software store are available to pirates as soon as or even BEFORE they are available to customers. Heh heh, it's good to be a computer criminal, yes? Now that I've covered the quality underground boards, I should probably fill you in on what I refer to as the 'SubLame' scene. I call it that because in the underground, there is elite at one end of the spectrum and there's lame at the other. Codez kids and warez dOOdz are examples of lameness. A great hacker who really knows his shit is elite. Technically only the top 2 to 5% qualify as elite, but in a real sense, elite means any high-caliber hacker. In the SubLame scene, they don't even make it onto the spectrum. Picture a sublamer: you enter the room of a junior high/high school male. Clothes and garbage hide the floor. The walls are shingled with bullshit band posters. In one corner of the room, you can hear the slow peck-peck of a keyboard - the little geek has never really learned to type. Look over there and see the back of a head of scraggly long hair, and a neck full of pimples. You can almost see his breath. Congratulations, you've met him in the flesh. Lucky you. Ofcourse this is only a stereotype. There are girls - few and far between - even some genuinely cool people. Who knows, there may even be some people who read MONDO and therefore must be cool, right? I myself started out by calling these boards, but I've evolved. These boards are the easiest to find and get onto. There are billions of them out there, kinda like mosquitoes. They are generally put up by some local kid without much to do. One way to distinguish them from decent HP and Pirate boards is the precentage of LD - long distance - users. HP and Pirate boards will have more than 50% LD users. Sublamer boards are populated almost entirely by local callers. Many of the users have met and know each other personally. They even get together for social events organized through the BBS, meet at the mall, or go to the movies. Another thing about these boards is that most of them are warez wanna-bes. They generally have copyrighted stuff online and always try to get new warez. Most of them have 'security,' which translates into not letting you have access to the 'elite' shit unless they 'know yer cool.' This means they call you voice (rare) or you sound cool to them in your application for access. They want to make sure 'you're not a Fed or anything, dude,' because they seem to think that the average federal agent has nothing better to do than go after fourteen-year-olds trading copyrighted games. Man, do they live dangerously. As for the message subs (subjects), the content of the conversation will obviously be geared to what they devote thier time to, such as who won the ballgame last night, how far they've gotton with their (usually fictitious) girl friends, who can kick whose ass, and bif Madonna's tits are. But there is a characteristic unique to the sublame boards, and that is warring. Warring is, ofcourse, the arguments and insults exchanged between users on a board. Sysops on most underground boards will tolerate varying amounts of this and will penalize or kick users off if it gets out of hand. However, in the realm of sublameness, warring is encouraged. Many have a WAR Sub, which is a message sub board which exists exclusively for users to insult each other (and their mothers). To give you a little insight into the psyche of the average sublamer, let me tell you that on many boards the WAR sub gets as many messages as all the other message bases put together. This scene is mildly amusing nonetheless. And they do have a few ties to the real computer underground. Every now and then you will see one of them on a supposedly elite board. The geek in question either slipped through security due to a careless sysop or managed to get access to a warez board because his parents bought him a 12-million-baud modem. These few people are usually the ones who get the 'Elite Warez,' which are uploaded to all the local boards. THE WRITER SPEAKS SERIOUSLY: You know, a few years ago I could not change directory in dos. I knew nothing about computers, nor phones, nor did I have a clue about the workings of our high-tech society. Then I got a computer, and along with it - a modem. That modem was the door to a universe of pure infomation, a frontier just waiting to be explored. A hacker is a pioneer, traversing packet-switched networks, bridges, outdials and trunks all over the physical world. The hacker explores and maps out this virtual universe for hirself and hir peers, so that they may reap the knowledge that is there in unspeakable abundence. Every underground board is an outpost, a spot where the pioneers can rest, exchange infomation, form groups and hear the current news. This is how we learn. The traditional concepts of learning and teaching are rapidly becoming irrelevent in this society. All the years of school with all the bullshit of my brainwashed peers and ignorant 'teachers' - we all know what a farce this has become. Especially in a country that is continually whittling away the meager budget for education so it can have more bombs for murder, more satellites and agencies for spying on its own people. This is a new school: a learning environment where everyone can work at hir own pace, and no one is 'graded' by biased or unfair 'teachers.' This is a place where people exist without skin color, creed or physical disabilities; where you are judged on one thing alone: your mind. Next time you see in the news that some fifteen-year-old kid had his door kicked in and his family held at gunpoint while the Secret Service took away his computers and other possessions, which will never be returned, remember this article. Think about Steve Jackson Games. Think about a hole generation of young people confused by this fucked-up world, who just want to learn, just want to understand how things work, what makes things tick. Think about all that, and then you decide who the criminals are. End. GREETS AND STUFF BY R-CADE Here are the personal greetings from r-Cade: AEE, Babooshka and The Cat People, Elvis, Esko, 65an, Zeus (found any new kind of seeds lately?) All Doodles / Sh0ck members worldwide! Blackbird - keep on sending those great fantasy-book-lists + everybody else who thinks that their names should have been listed here... - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Q: What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common ? A: They both circle Uranus looking for klingons. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - GREETINGS / MESSAGES FROM D-ZIRE ------------------------------------------------------------ GReeTiNGS! iN No SPECiAL oRDER! ------------------------------------------------------------ r-Cade, Ice!, Powerslave!, Jac, Chig, Darwin, Butch, Deetroy Blizzard, F.n.M, Case, Filippetto, Super Grover, Natas, Aqua U-Man, Excalibur, Slash, Thug, Jonez, Rioter, D-Luxe, Loxley Budweiser, Sleepwalker, Some1 & Prime, Colorbird, Lizardking Tony, Borre, K-12, Vital, Dolphin (Qwik&Dirty), Crayone, Axy Cybergod, Gin, Snuskis, Iridon, Kissblasan, Ray-Ban, Blaizer Animal!, Chevron, Devilstar, Dux, Virus, Joker, The Silencer Marillion, Spirou & Cuddley, Stain, Jason, Roach, Rob, Ozone Cappuccino, 13th Angel, Zcandaler, Sate, Trixy Dixy, Dr.Doom Kingpin, SRL, Norad, Core, Delusion, Mano, Elvis, Silent Run Casca Longinus, Bladerunner, Blackbird, Nightwind, Diogenes Lawnmowerman, Don Martin, Garfield!, Fornic8r, Tequila, Nero Cee-Dee, HitMan, D-Siya, C/\teye, Probe, Slim, Pete, Dracula Double, Sy-Klone, Esko, MFM, Rabzi, Disc, Shark, Rubber, Laf Pearl, Karma, Godhead, Terminator, Static, Foxx, Lynxx, Stef Randy, Benz... and ofcoz to *ALL* I forgot! ------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------ Here's some special messages to some friends and people: ------------------------------------------------------------ KINGPIN/SPACEBALLS So give me the direction and I'll come over...oki? PEARL I've lost you're add when I moved... PLEASE SEND IT AGAIN! THE SILENCER/DOODLES^SHOCK 1.5k? or 2.5k? R-CADE/DOODLES^SHOCK Twin peaks... where and when? DOLPHIN/NOXIOUS Send me the chiptunes... NOW! RAY-BAN/THE SILENTS (DI) Week 28 oki? ANINAL/THE SILENTS (DI) So... what's up in TSL nowadays? BLAIZER/THE SILENTS (DI) Still alive or? LIZARDKING/RAZOR 1911 What's up dude? Released your CD yet?!! Call me! I've moved again! SPIROU & CUDDLEY & RUBBER Sug row rules!!!! GREETINGS FROM LOXLEY Greetings from LoXLeY / EQX! ---------------------------- Greets to : d-Zire & Silencer/TDS, Probe/VD/FLT, Excalibur/Complex, Rob & Prof Da Right/Classic, Rioter & Cannabis/EQX, TBB & Azazel/Medicine, Nero/Scandal, DiSC, Norad/Unicorn, Rohan, Renko, Mike/DD, Drakir/Noice, Ramosa/Oblivion, Candyman/Sardonyx, Mazy/Noice, Zendor/Legend, SRL, Manta, Pac/Classic, Blazer/?, Pohlman, C.Hamilton, Angeldust, Davey/JetSet & all EQUiNOX members worldwide... Messages! : d-Zire/TDS - Was the tune too short or ? Hope you liked it! Excalibur/Complex - Looking forward to see your G--E... Probe/VD/FLT - How about sending back my CD ?!! Azazel/Medicine - Sorry for the delay, I'm graduating this year so, please hold on... Ramosa/Oblivion - Thanx for sending me, read the message above! Candyman/Sardonyx - Same to you...! Rioter & Cannabis - Vibrators rule the nation, ehh ?! Watch out for Equinox musicdisk which will be released in the near future.. The music will be composed by me... (Love it already????!)... The EROTIC demo is also under development, stick around for that one too! -LoXLEY LAST WORDS FROM KURT COBAIN This note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the Punk Rock 101 Courses over the years, it's my first introduction to the, shall we say ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has been proven to be very true. I haven't felt the excitement of listening to, as well as creating music, along with really writing something for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things, for example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins. It doesn't affect me in the way which it did for Freddie Mercury, who seemed to love and relish the love and admiration from the crowd, which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is, I can't fool you, any of you. It simply isn't fair to you, or to me. The worst crime I can think of would be to pull people off by faking it, pretending as if I'm having one hundred percent fun. Sometimes I feel as though I should have a punch-in time clock before I walk out on-stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do, God believe me, I do, but it's not enough. I appreciate the fact that I, and we, have affected, and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of the narcisists who only appreciate things when they're alone. I'm too sensitive, I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm. But, what's sad is our child. On our last three tours, I've had a much better appreciation of all the people I've known personally, and as fans of our music. But I still can't get out the frustration, the guilt, and the sympathy I have for everybody. There is good in all of us, and I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little sensitive unappreciative pisces Jesus man. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful. But since the age of 7, I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along and have empathy. Empathy only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you from the pit of my burning nauseas stomach for your letters and concern during the last years. I'm too much of a neurotic moody person and I don't have the passion anymore, so remember, it's 'Better to Burn out, than fade away.' Peace, love, empathy, Kurt Cobain. April 5th, 1994