³HhOoWw TtOo SsHhOoPp DdAaNnIiSsHh!
                      ¢HhOoWw TtOo SsHhOoPp DdAaNnIiSsHh!

                            ²_By Cybergod / Ramjam_


Well, it's time to make my debute in DanskToppen. And I have nothing to write
about really, but it wouldn't be smart of me to tell you that, because then
they wouldn't have inculded this thingy.

Actually, I'd like to learn all swedes reading this, who has not yet been to
Denmark (for some strange reason), how to shop in a Danish store.

The language sounds more like someone who's got something stuck in his/her
throat. And they (especially those who live in Copenhagen) have a habit of
swallowing some suffixs which makes it hard to tell the difference between one
word and another, such as 'Lerer'¹ and 'Lere'² (Sorry about any misspelling,
but I'm no native dane!). The first is a noun, 'Teacher' and the second word is
a verb 'to teach'. Ofcourse, this is not an example that clearifys the
difference between Copenhagens and other danes. But anyway, the both are
pronounced in the exact same way.³

Back to the main purpose of this article, namely how to shop in a Danish store.
Let's say that you have gathered a couple of interesting goods (You know, the
usual: Beer and sausages (and heroin if you're in Christiania! :) )) And you're
facing the cashier who rapidly sums it all up. It's here you'll get the REAL
chock.

¹Cashier:² - 'to og halv-fiers'*     ¹You:² - '!?!????!??'

Yeah, well, here's some tricks for all of you who have trouble with danish
cashiers.

1.  If the store's got a cash register, just look at the figures on the display
    and pay the right amount of money.

2.  If the store hasn't got any register, don't panic, just leave the bigest
    banknote you can find and it probably will be enough.  This trick probably
    won't work that good if you're buying anyhting big like a truck or for
    example advanced electronic wares or so.

That should help you a lot. But if you have any interesting questions, do write
to me. The address ought to be in the advertisment section.


²------------------------
²Pearl's ¹sprog Cornor ;
²------------------------
1 - En lærer / a teacher.

2 - At lære / to teach.

3 - A small example on a guy from Judland saying exactly the same as a Dane:

Jyde> Øhhh Bøøø, dou i tous lee dou skou te' av slap lidt ou dou.<

Københavner> Hvad øhh, tror du ikke lige du skulle ta' og slap' lidt af, mand??
For helvede - eller skal du ha'kniven!?

Rigsdansk> Undskyld, men tror de ikke at de skulle slappe lidt af?!

Poptøse-Dansk> Aj hvor ' du gusten, gad jeg det? hvor lam er du? osv. (Faktisk
findes der ikke en anerkendt måde hvorpå Poptøsen kan udtrykke at hun syntes at
man skal slappe lidt af.)


* - Jeg er ked af det men det ord FINDES simpelthen ikke på Dansk (well, måske
på jysk..). Efter grundig granskelse tror jeg dog at det drejer sig om to og
halvfems(92) eller to og halvtreds(52), det andet syntes jeg faktisk lød mere
Svensk.


²-------------------------
²Pearl¹takker af og håber
 på flere guldkorn, så jeg
 kan genere jyder og pop-
 tøser på det groveste!
²-------------------------