This week, r3ptile, as he as known in the scene, was named
Mr. Universe, by a panel of highly attractive women with big
breasts... When asked what he was going to do next, he replied,
"I'm going to Disneyland!"
In a related story, a new drug was put on the illegal list,
called Crackaine. A drug which for years has been given to attractive
women to ensure their breast enlargements wouldn't burst and cause
cancer... this drug apparently makes these women extremely dilusional,
causing them to see men as much stronger than they really are...
Tguardian, a long time member of the scene, was reportledly
sighted at a New York bondage store, and, contrary to
previous reports of him being a 4'8" 614 lb. blonde haired
female, is actually, a 6'2" 98 lb. male aids/cancer patient
with no hair and brown eyes. Tguardian was later spotted
at an adult video store in Los Angeles purchasing
the popular adult video, "The Kama Sutra With Your Furry
Friends." He once again matched the description except this
time he was spotted in drag.
Doctors announced today, surrounded by hundreds of reporters and
news cameras that Ewheat is not actually deaf, but colorblind.
When asked to explain why Ewheat couldnt hear they replied, "Ewheat's
brain, concentrating all of its 32 cells on being colorblind, has
no power left to control his eardrums, thus leaving him utterly
deaf and completely stupid."
Lisa Marie Presley, having recently split from lover
Michael Jackson, was now swarmed by press on her opinions
regarding his recent descision to have a child.. In tears,
Presley confessed, "But there is already a Jackson child,
Michael had him years before Iet him." When asked about
the whereabouts of this secret Jackson baby she replied,
"All I know is his name is The Silent Killer... Michael
refers to him as tsk when he talks about him." After saying
this she immediately rushed out of the room in tears...
Ewoks, outraged by the continous rape and mistreatment by Enigmatic,
set out to Washington D.C., trying to get a law passed prohibiting
human/puppet relations.. Sarkazulu, as he is known as now, was outraged
by this, saying simply "I have sex with my puppets every day,
and they never fucking complain!"
Our sources tell us that some people tried to make a channel
for requests only to keep ansi beggers out of #ansi. The channel
was called #requests but lacked support so it died a quick death.
Finally, in this weeks episode of ER, George Clooney was on
the computer. If you looked real close, he was talking on irc
under the nick of thclOne, proving that thclOne is actually, george
clooney..
