Always
by Kurai (Jan 1999)

we prayed that night next to
oriental, siamese statues..
whiskers set in stone. i meant to ask you
what the symbols meant..
you brushed the monk decay aside
and read my chinese lullaby.
we travelled dismal town to town
had a wedding. i bought your gown
with foreign money.. hallucinations
turned to gold. delusions of you in gold.
drenched in seven sunsets, weekly re-runs..
like the time you painted my room yellow..
stop it. you know im ticklish.
her eyes keep their vigil
protection from this ghosted world
-
we awake to crystal skies. i saw
the world dead once-- now i see
no pollution, revolutions,
politicians, doom transmissions.
just temples for us, places we can walk
and not get assaulted. hope in piles of rot.
infatuation, casual conversation
with the pasted faces of cadavers.
the skeletons smile back at me
and we wave together. go on roller coasters
over and over and over...
throw up like children,
tie our hair with ribbons of guts, intestines
and love every second of it.
make out like teens in teacups
then spin to another amusement
-
hearts revolve like trapdoors
slightly different, but souls stay the same.
"i've noticed a change. is it the season?"
...or perhaps a spice in the food.
"your laughs arent coy anymore"
...it's all these pretty koi
"you look at fish so strangely.."
...i love the way they swim.
"i'd call it admiration if i never knew you.."
...you never did
"always...?"
and ever. forever and ever
existance is futile anyways, and
litanies are meant for eternities.
i enjoy--because,
i've got numbers on my days....
***end