Mahoney & Kaktus proudly present.... The 'Eat the feeding pain' demo! This demo was written just because we wanted to have a little natter (We haven't written a scroll-text for about 2 months now!) Well where shall i start? Oh yeah! I'll start at the beginning.... This isn't really Mahoney & Kaktus (although this is their lovely font!) it is of course.... Del & Mantra (Mayhem!) Ha! I bet you thought this was a M&K demo didn't you? Well you were wrong! (Eat the feeding pain!).... If you are wondering what 'Eat the feeding pain' actually means then read on (I will reveal all later!).... Well I think it's about time i introduced myself.... I am of course Del (The author of this very silly demo!) I wrote this demo because Mantra (I hate pseudo names don't you?) has come down to stay with me for a few weeks! While Mantra has been staying here we have been having a big competition on that 'fuck-off amazing' game.... ÿ --DATASTORM-- Our highscores are as follows... Del (the best) with an outstanding 898250. Diablo (pretty good) with 752020. Puck (not bad) with 661350. & finally Mantra (above average) with 554430. þ So Mr. SODAN when are you going to do a new version of DATASTORM? I don't care if it is the sequel or just a version with no fucking bugs!! It's got more bugs than my 2 games put together! Talking of my games... I am currently writing (with Diablo!) a totally awesome 32 colour scrolling beat 'em' up type game with massive sprites & loads of hidden bonuses etc. etc. So watch out for it! (I had to get that in this text somehow!) I think it's about time i mentioned the fact that the balls rolling around the screen were 'removed' from another of my favourite games.... ÿRock & Roll þ Have you noticed that they roll in the direction they move? (i had to point that out because i wrote the fucking cool code to do it!) You are now about 5% of the way through this scroll-text - ok? If you can't be bothered to read all of this scrolltext now then I'd better mention another really cool (Original) feature of this demo.................. It's a save scroll position feature! to activate this cool feature just hit space (but make sure your disk is write-enabled otherwise you will get a crappy Amigados(tm) requester telling you to do so!) This feature saves an 8 byte file to the current directory (The filename is 'Scroll-position'). To re-load an old scroll position just press the L key. To quit from this demo without saving text position press ESC. And now its time for some interesting facts about this demo... It took 6 hours to code & about 12 hours to write the scroll-text (the scroll was written over 2 days, this is why it is so silly!) The Rock & Roll balls are in 16 colours & they roll in the direction they move (Haven't i mentioned that before??) the music is from the 'J.O.E. Slideshow II' & was composed by the one and only .... OSTERMAN .... (my favourite amiga musician!) I think I'd like to say a little something to Mahoney & Kaktus now... Sorry for ripping your font, but it was just a bit too good to leave alone! (Anyway i'm sure i've seen it somewhere before!) OK? Basically I've had enough of typing this shitty text for the moment so I'll hand my amazing Amiga (now with 3 megs,A590 hard disk & ECS!) over to Mantra...... Hello! First a few personal greets! Hello to Loooke! Got your line draw working yet? Ha - I passed my HND and you didnt! Eat the feeding pain! Hi also to Chris, Joe and Giza - have they recovered from celebrating Germanys victory in the world cup? Also hello Zak! Buy an amiga Now! Overlord X - never mind, only another year to serve! Looking through magazines (and disk compacts!) there finally seems to be some good stuff coming out - the first time since about, well, christmas really! I mean, F29 was crap, impossamole was disappointing, black tiger was the saddest, crackdown, ghostbusters 2, hammerfist, hot rod (!), need I go on? But finally there is some good stuff! Turrican is pretty cool, Kick off 2 seems ok, and both damocles and klax look good. I'll have to get someone to download them and find out! However, a lot of cool demos are about - perhaps reflecting the fact that there has been nothing worth cracking, so people have got nothing better to do (which is cool!) Cebit was v. good, mental hangover had some nice ideas (test your stuff on 1.3 machines next time though, ok Slayer? A quick plea to all demo coders. I would have thought that with all the documentation on the amiga, people could write stuff that works on different types of amiga! But oh no! They have to go jumping into level 3 interrupt locations that changed at least a year ago! Armada - why do you jump into FC0CD8 at the end of your interrupt routine (in the music demo disk)? Do you enjoy ORing 486E with FFDC(A4)? I admit that it is a neat way to crash, but why try and crash the machine every 50th of a second? Surely you meant to MOVE.L 6C,oldlev3 (sorry, no dollar symbol!) and then JMP oldlev3 at the end of your routine? The same problem is repeated by many other groups - I have yet to see a Dexion demo work on my 1.3 A500! Anyway, enough moaning! I see someone has brought out another new version of noisetracker (1.2 by Riff Raff of United Forces!). I'm glad somebody else agrees with me that the old equalizers were completely useless, and has replaced them with a two channel waveform analyser. However, noisetracker 2 has just been released, so maybe equalizers will stay with us a little longer (well, at least until someone resources THAT version as well!) The best music program would probably be a cross between noisetracker and future composer. That way we could have high quality samples, but also waveforms to save on our memory! Give me the source code, and I'll do it! Um. Now what. It isnt easy thinking of interesting scroll-texts you know! I mean, its now about 11:00 in the morning (of 7/7/90) and I havent had any sleep since very early the day before! I suppose I could do what a lot of european groups used to do when they were into scroll-text length competitions, and that is to type down everything that happened while they were typing. As you can imagine, that got fairly boring, the usual scroll-text saying 'The phone is ringing - i will answer it......ok that was xxx on the phone. Someone has just come to the door. It is yyy. There are now 11 people in this room' etc etc. I wonder why all the magazines that cover the amiga are crap? I hear that transacter has just given up all contact with the U.K, and will remain a U.S. only magazine now. Transacter was a very good magazine, with no adverts, and a heavy emphasis on programming, usually in machine code or C. It is a pity to see such a good magazine lose out to shit like amiga computing, or format. The closest these two get to decent programing articles is printing re-hashes of the hardware manual! Cool! And the weekly magazines have degenerated into tabloid-style sensationalist rags, with badly written, inaccurate, and, lets face it, boring articles, about anything even vaguely connected with computers. They also seem to be, at least publicly, against piracy, with a knee-jerk editorial about it everytime it appears in the news. Which is strange, because I thought un-protected review copies were where a lot of the pre-release, cracked games came from. Didn't ACE magazine get sued for 'spreading' some preview copy 'hot wares'? What happened to the good mags of yonder? Who remembers the back cover adverts that Automata had on virtually every issue of popular computing weekly for about 3 years? PImania? Tony Banks column? Programming articles? Adverts for 100% PURE MACHINE CODE games?! These were when magazines were written by people who programmed, or were interested in programming. The same goes for the american mags Creative Computing, or Dr Dobbs! I think the average computer journalist these days could just about pass O'level moron! A quick message of sympathy goes out to anyone who is currently studying a computer course at any polytechnic/university at the moment. I have just finished a course at a polytechnic, just south of the bank of the river thames in London, and I should mention that it was not fun! You get to write in such lovely languages as... C, Lisp or SQL! If anyone is thinking about going on a course, the only advice I can give is DON'T! Buy the hardware manual, or some other programming book. You will save a lot of money, certainly a lot of time, and you'll learn a lot more! Oh well, time for Del to have another bash on the keyboard, so this is Mantra signing off, at least for the moment! Hi guyz.... It's me again (Del).... First of all I'd like to mention that pressing the F10 key changes the Scroll/Ball priorities (What fucking fun!). OK lets get serious now.... I'd like to say a few words to some of my friends who are 'In the scene'.... So greets to... Spark (XXX) ... Blade (Defjam) ... TIW,Jon & CJ (SAE) ... Studiomaster (THR) ... Dream warrior ... Kreator (Anarchy) ... Flash,Jrok,Powercut & Zing (Mayhem) ... Moses (Modesty) ... Jester ... Nosha (DCS) ... Dan,Andi & Marc (Slipstream) ... Artis ... Sabbath ... Alias & finally Onst (the lamer). Well now i've got my personal greets out of the way, I think it's time for me to go to bed! (I'll return soon!) Well hello again! I'm back after a nice long sleep (6 hours) & I've just watched the final of the world cup! Argentina can EAT THE FEEDING PAIN! HA HA HA! I think it's about time i explained what the fuck 'Eat the feeding pain' means so here goes..................... One night (about 3 weeks ago) me(Del),noel,puck,diablo & gareth were all having a game of cards in my kitchen (at around 5.00am!) Anyway Gareth was loosing really badly all night & was getting REALLY pissed off! When suddenly his luck changed & he picked up the best card in the pack (queen of spades)........... When it came to gareths next go he dropped the queen & screamed 'EAT THE FEEDING PAIN YOU BASTARDS' (As you can tell he didn't really know what the fuck he was saying!). Now whenever anyone sees Gareth we always take the piss by making him Eat the feeding pain! Gremlin has just turned up, and he has brought with him some hot warez! (Damocles,noisetracker2,flood & sound factory) Oh damocles is so fucking Awesome! It's just as good as Mercenary! Especially when you enter a spaceship! (Speed!) Well done Mr. Woaks you've done it again! (Shame it took 2 years though!) Talking of games taking ages to write, I think I'll talk about my friend ..SPARK.. he has been writing his game for about 18 months now! During that time i have written 2 games & i am part way through a 3rd! Eat the feeding pain spark.... Well fuck me! I've just tried noisetracker 2 & guess what.... Yes thats right! It didn't like my hard disk! But being the awesome coder that i am i got out Cmon and started to do a fixed version.... 2 hours later (after getting past imploder decruncher etc.) i started to disassemble the code... And guess what is at the start.... Yes thats it! a bit of code to see if you have typed -h after the filename! This then ofcourse patches the keyboard handler to work with hard disks! God i wish gremlin would download the Docs files (Skinflint!).... Gremlin has just gone downstairs to write a new asteroids game (he thinks he can write it in 6 hours!)..... We will see! Anyway... I'm off now so I'll leave you with Mantra (again)......... Hello! Yep, some of the wares we got today are ok! Flood is really good, Resolution 101 looks good, and the sound factory has got some powerful looking chipsound type effects. By the way, Gremlins asteroids game is looking really good, so look out for a possible Mayhem hot (damn hot) release in the near future. By the way, Zing did this amazing logo, with adjustments and hot optimizations by Del. Quick note to Datel - please make an action replay with a throughport on it so I can stick an A590 into it, and I might buy one! I notice that the sound factory replay source has a jump to FC0CD8 at the end of the interrupt handler. Sigh... Hi to Rockwell of Pseudo Ops! If anyone ever comes to Bristol, they just have to go to Schwarz Bros hamburger joint! They making these amazing garlic and mayonaise burgers that are the most! Now the most important part of every scrolltext (honest!) - the GREETS! We are only greeting the best groups here, so if you're not here, well, lifes like that! Greetings to : - Complex - Red Sector - Scoopex - Paranoimia - Phenomena - Oracle - Vision factory - Vision - Northstar - Crusaders - IT - Superions - Anarchy - Defjam/Acc - Rebels - Silents - Fairlight - Slipstream - Razor 1911 - Spreadpoint - The link - Unique - Timecircle - XXX International - Resolution - Modesty - Paradox & finally Dual crew. Well i'm bored of typing now so I'll hand over to --- SPEX --- Hi everyone!, First of all i'd like to give a message to Riff Raff of United Forces - Seek & Destroy 1.1 is great and I can't wait for the next upgrade!, also please hurry up and change Noisetracker to accept Future Composer instruments! cos' then, it'll be Fan-Friggin-Tastic! S'pose I better say hi to Neil (aka beastie hacker) Erm, who else can I say hi to?!?!?.... Oh yeah... Jochen Hippel of Thalion software (Keep up the good work!) - However! whoever the guy was who nicked Freds music 'The Last Sun' and put it into Atomix should get a good punch in the face! for... A. Nicking the music in the first place without Freds consent & B. Crediting himself for doing the music in the 1st place. This was a really LAME thing to do... Message to fred: Keep up the cool music! - Having just seen the Martin Galway music demo you have done recently (Megga!) - How about converting Rob Hubbard music from the 64 (Eg. Crazy comets, Monty On The Run etc...). Message to Scoopex Finland (Slayer): Great demos keep up the standards we have come to expect from Scoopex! Question for everyone... Am I the only person in the known universe to own an Archimedes A3000???? - Come on Software Companies! let's see a few more games coming out for this incredible machine! - I mean, Gordon Key (Programmer of E-Type, Apocalypse & Holed Out) seems to be doing rather nicely out of it doesn't he?... Also LET'S see some more DEMO's come out for it (BUT NOT LAME ONES!) Brothers in ARM I think should get a mention (HI GUYS!) for their efforts on it... Umm, what to write.... Oh god... work tomorrow... ah well, life's a bitch... Still!, not to worry.. Hey! things seem to be looking up On the Amiga games front don't they?... games like Turrican, Twintris, Kick off 2 etc... Not just yer average ST port-overs I can tell you! Oh yeah, more messages to Riff Raff of UF: In your next upgrade to Noisetracker, could you put in options to A. Swap between your Voice-Scope display an the old Equalisers?, B. Have a user defined colour palette (by means of RGB sliders/counters), I'm sure I could think of a few more things to include in the next version but no doubt these will be included in a later scroller... Also, I wish that all Groups would make their demos work on 1.3 Amigas! (It seems to be less of a problem these days) but there are still a few of you out there! Doesn't the NEO-GEO console look groovy??? (bit of a rip off at 400 Quid though!) what with the games being 120 quid(?) each as well! Still, that's the sort of price you have to pay for that sort of quality... like I said... Life's a bitch... Still! not to worry! - The way to get around that problem is to convince someone you know very well to buy one, and then spend 23 hours a day around their house playing it! I hope you're all going to the computer show in London in September! We'll keep a lookout for you (groups are generally easy to spot - 4+ people hanging around the bars!) or trying to swipe disks from computers running demos of games from all the companies!, or trying to swipe 1084 monitors (Oops sorry! - couldn't resist that one!) - Hello also to Jrok - how are things going?... Not too badly I hope. Oh well, I've run out of things to say now so I'd better pass the keys to Del so he can wrap this scrolly up.... Right guyz i'm back again just to say a quick goodbye before we wrap this scroller up.... So it's goodbye from Del & Mantra (of mayhem) on the 9/7/90. text restarts (I bet you wouldn't have guessed it was going to do that!)