ONCE UPON A TIME.... THERE WAS A PLANET WHICH WAS CALLED THE SCENE. THERE LIVED MANY HAPPY PEOPLE ON IT BUT OUR LITTLE STORY IS ABOUT ONE SMALL ISLAND OF THAT LARGE WORLD............... THIS WAS ONE OF THE LOVELIEST ISLANDS OF THE HUGE PLANET THERE LIVED A DOCTOR ON THIS ISLAND,WHO HAD JUST INVENTED AN EXPERIMENTAL DEVICE. THE DEVICE WAS A NEW KIND OF POWER PLANT, CAPABLE TO PRODUCE SO MUCH ENERGY, THAT IT WOULD SATISFY ALL THE ISLANDS NEEDS. BUT.... THERE WAS A PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM WAS,THAT THE DEVICE MIGHT NOT WORK YET,BECAUSE THE DOCTOR HAD NOT TESTED IT BEFORE.... BUT ONE DAY, THE ISLANDS COMMANDER COMMANDED OUR DOCTOR TO USE THIS DEVICE, BECAUSE COMMANDERS NEW HARD DRIVE WAS UNABLE TO OPERATE... SO, OUR DOCTOR HAD NO CHOISE,BUT TO WATCH THE COMMANDER PRESSING THE BUTTON. THE DEVICE WORKED... EVEN TOO WELL... THE WHOLE ISLAND WAS NUKED AWAY. NOT ALL OF THEM DIED ZUM OF THEM SURVIVED THEY REBUILD THE ISLAND AND BUILD NEW HOUSES AND ROADS AND SO ALL LOOKED AS BEFORE......BUT..... NOTHING WAS THE SAME THE DOCTOR HAD TAKEN A BIG DOSE OF WEIRD RADIATION, AND SO HAD ALL THE OTHER SURVIVORS. THE CITIZENS BRAIN ACTIVITY TRANSFORMED AND THEY ALL BECOME A BIT WEIRD... AND THE CITIZENS RENAMED THE ISLAND AS THE AIIIEEEEE!!!!! TFF PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS THE FIRST PRODUCTION FROM US, CALLED : - T.I.L.T. - (THE INCREDIBLE LAMER TRAP) RELEASED : 36.WEEK THIS WRITER CONSISTS OF THESE: THE FUNNY CREDITS! THE FEW SURVIVORS! HAPPY ADDRESSES! JOLLY GREETINGS! THE CREDITS: CODE ---- DR.BLITZ GFX ---- KPT.CYNSY ROCK LOBSTER MUSIC --- BEATHAWK GURUBOX FLASHING COMMANDER Z THE SURVIVORS IN FINLAND ARE : DR.BLITZ KPT. CYNSY CMDR.Z ROCK LOBSTER BEATHAWK BEHOLDER PROTOPLASM TACHTAL THE FUN FACTORY NEEDS MORE WORKERS SO IF YOU THINK YOU WOULD LIKE TO JOIN US, THEN DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME, AND JOIN THE FUN FACTORY PRODUCTIONS 4 JOINING,WRITE TO THIS ADDRESS : DR.BLITZ / TFF TANHUANTIE 13 36200 KANGASALA FUNLAND! OR CALL ME : + 358 31 770 417 OCH ASK 'KIMMO'! FOR SWAPPING,WRITE ONE OF THESE ADDYS ------------------ TACHTAL TUOMAANKUJA 4 69950 PERHO FUNLAND! ------------------ ------------------ BEHOLDER VUORENMAANRIN. 34B 60220 SEINAJOKI FUNLAND! ------------------ ------------------ DR.BLITZ TANHUANTIE 13 36200 KANGASALA FINELAND ------------------ ------------------ COMMANDER Z UHTUANKUJA 9 36200 KANGASALA FUNLAND! ------------------ THAT WAS ALL!! AND NOW FOR THE OFFICIAL T.F.F. --GREETINGS!-- ACUME, ADDICTS, ADZE, AGIMA, ANCHORY SISTERS, ALCATRAZ, ATOMIC BASTARDS, BEAST CELESTIAL,CENTURA CIRCLE, CALIBRA, CRACK INC. CRIME DEVILS, CURARE, CULTURE CYBORX, DEADLINE DESTINY, DEVILS DICTATORS, DAI, EON, ESG-242, EQUINOX, EXOTIQUE, FIRE CREW,GENOCIDE GOTHIC, GRACE, INFINITE FRONTIERS KLONDYKE, LEADER PRODUCTIONS LIVE ACT, LSD, LUNATICS, MIDNIGHT SUN ORIENT, PARADISE, PARAGON,PARALLAX PARALYSIS QUARTZ, SECT SILENTS, SOUNDWAVE THE DARK DEMON STELLAR,SUBMISSION VIXEN, WIZZAT, ZEROLINE THAT WAS ALL FOR THIS TIME! IF YOUR NAME WAS MISSING, YOU SHOULD CONTACT US IMMEDIATELY!! AND THAT WAS ALL!! NOW JUST READ THE SCROLL DOWN THERE! HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY! DO NOT WORRY, LOAD A FUN FACTORY PRODUCTION ! SADNESS IS TRAITORISM ! WORSHIP THE FUN FACTORY PRODUCTIONS!! ZON - FUCK OFF YOU UNHAPPY BASTARD! WE NEVER WORRY. HAPPY GFX ARTISTS ARE WORSE THAN PLAGUE!! THE FACTORY IS ON...AND NOBODY CAN STOP US! THE CURE FOR SADNESS IS THE FUN FACTORY OR A HAPPY PILL!! CRYING MAKES PEOPLE DROWN. FILLED VECTORS MAKE YOU SAD. YOU DOWN WIT T.F.F.! HANGOVER IS FUN, WHEN YOU HAVE US. ICH KOM! IT'S THE FUN FACTORY! SBRUID! SUBER ORGASM! SPURID SPRUIT SBRUID SBRUIT ! No voi vittu...meni pervoks... WE ARE THE FUN FACTORY PRODUCTIONS (TFF) . . . . . . . . . .......AAAAIIIEEEE.... W E M A D E I T ...... AT LAST...THIS PRODUCTION IS FINISHED TO BE THE F I R S T PRODUCTION OF THE FUN FACTORY PRODS. COOL...... WE STAYED AWAKE MANY NIGHTS BECAUSE OF MAKING THIS PRODUCTION...ACTUALLY, IT IS NOW HALF TO FIVE AT THE MORNING... SADLY, THIS IS A VERY POOR FONT...IT HAS NOT MUCH MARKS, AND EVEN THE NUMBERS ARE SOMEWHERE...BUT WE WILL HAVE TO SURVIVE. OF COURSE WE WILL. HAHAHHA....OKAY, WE WILL CONTINUE WITH THIS PRODUCTION TOMORROW, LIKE, CHANGING THE COLORS AND WRITING MORE SCROLL...AND WE ALSO HAVE TO FILL THE WRITER UP THERE. THANK GOD IT HAS NUMBERS AND THAT KIND OF STUFFS IN IT...FOR NOW...GOOD NIGHT...WE ARE TIRED...BUT HAPPY...HAPPINESS IS MANDATORY, EVEN AT NIGHT..... OKAY, NOW WE ARE GONE. DR.BLITZ AND KPT.CYNSY OF TFF. SEE YOU AFTER TEN HOURS OR LATER............................ AND NOW IT IS THE NEXT DAY...ONLY HALF AN HOUR TILL MIDNIGHT...SO, SOON IT IS AGAIN A NEW DAY. BUT NOW, LET ME TELL YOU, THAT WE NEED MORE GFX ARTISTS. GOOD ONES. AS YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW, WE ARE A VERY NEW TEAM, BUT I CAN TELL YOU, THAT WE ARE NOT GOING TO DIE SOON. ALMOST ALL OF OUR MEMBERS HAVE GOT BORED, BECAUSE THEIR OLDER GROUPS HAVE DIED FOR SOME STUPID REASON, AND NO TEAM USUALLY HAVE SURVIVED OVER A YEAR. HOPEFULLY WE DO. OKAY, NOW I WILL STOP TALKING SERIOUS THINGS...AND I WILL ALSO STOP WRITING FOR NOW, TOMORROW I GONNA DO SOME FUNKY BULLSHIT WITH KPT. CYNSY... COMMANDER Z HAS ESCAPED TO LAND...HE HAS EXPERIENCED HORRIBLE THINGS. WHEN HE WAS A KID, HIS MOTHER PUT HIM IN A PLASTIC BAG AND CARRIED HIM ALL OVER KANGASALA...AND HE HAD ONLY ONE TOY...FIRMLY NAILED TO THE FLOOR. I AM SURE YOU DO UNDERSTAND HIS TROUBLES.......OKAY, THAT WAS ALL FROM DR.BLITZ...FOR NOW...AND KPT.CYNSY SHALL CONTINUE. . . . . . . .. ....POJJAAAT MA TAIDAN KIRJOITTAA SCROLLIA. SO THERE WAS SOME FACTS ABOUT OUR COMARADES CHILDHOOD NOW I SHOULD FIX THE LOGO UP THERE BUT... JAKSAA INTE. WRITING SCROLL IS FUCKING DIFFCULT WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, MAYBE I SHOULD STOP NOW. KPT OUT...VOI VITUN KOO PEE TEE...TAAS MUN ON P A K K O TYPINGGATA JOTAIN TOUGHIA... YES, IT IS THE DOC. HERE AGAIN...COMRADE EH, COMMANDER Z IS IN SCHOOL...HOHOHOH...UHUI...AND HE IS GOING TO STAY THERE FOR A LONG TIME...BUT TOMORROW WE HAVE A LONGER DAY WITH KPT.CYNSY...GEE...NOW I AM GOING TO TELL YOU, THAT HOW IT IS POSSIBLE TO GET EVERYTHING OUT FROM YOUR GFX ARTIST...YOU NEED SOME OF THESE TOOLS. A BELT, A KNIFE, A CLUB, A BRUSH, A VACUUM CLEANER OR SOMETHING SIMILIAR. THEN YOU SAY TO THE GFX ARTIST, THAT HE SHOULD DO A FONT. OR A LOGO. IF HE DISAGREES OR STARTS DOING LOUSY JOB, USE ONE OF YOUR ITEMS, LIKE, IF YA GOT THE BELT, WHIP HIM. IF THE GFX ARTIST TRIES TO DO SOME OPPOSITION, YOUR SHOULD HIT M U C H H A R D E R . IF THAT WONT DO, YOU JUST CALL ANOTHER CODER TO HELP YOU. I DO LIKE THIS WITH COMMANDER Z. IT WORKS. ALWAYS. YOU CAN ASK KPT.CYNSY IF YOU DONT BELIEVE WHAT I TELL YOU. I DONT KNOW, THAT DOES THIS WORK WITH MUSICIANS, BUT IT SURE IS INEFFECTIVE AGAINST CODERS. SO DONT WASTE YOUR TIME TRYING TO WHIP CODERS, BECAUSE WE CAN TAKE THE PAIN, BUT YOU CANNOT. HAHAHAHAHA. OOPS...MISSSATTIIN TAAS...KAPU WANTS TO WRITE SOMETHING. DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS. HE IS PROPABLY LYING..... BELIEVE OR NOT..I AM GOING TO TELL HOW TO ACT WIT CODER WHO DOES NOT OR CANNOT MAKE A ROUTINE... ALL YOU NEED IS ABOUT A METER LONG ROPE, TIE IT INTO CODERS NECK AND PULL UNTIL THE ROUTINE IS READY. DISADVANTAGES OF THIS SYSTEM IS THAT YOU MIGHT PULL TOO HARD...SO BE CAREFUL, A DEAD CODER IS A LOUSY CODER. BUT I BLAME SWAPPERS ABOUT EVERYTHING, BECAUSE THEY ALLWAYS WANT NEW PRODUCTIONS... JOO, DR.BLITZ IS HERE AGAIN. I DONT BLAME SWAPPERS, BCOZ I SWAP TOO. HEHE...I ALWAYS WANT NEW PRODUCTIONS AND SO I HAVE TO CODE THEM....HOHOH...UHUI.....HHOHO...VILL DU HA POTATIS..HIHIIH...TFF GOING MAD...SPRUID...OOPSS..... OKAY...HERE IS TEN EARLY WARNING SIGNS FROM ULTIMATE LAMERISM. ONE..IF THE NAME IS ZON THE TAKATUKKA. TWO..IF MCGYVER IS HIS ABSOLUTE IDOL. THREE..HE LOOKS LIKE A MONKEY WITHOUT HIS GLASSES. FOUR...HE LOOKS STUPID EVEN WITH THEM... FIVE...HE SMELLS BAD... SIX...HE THINKS HE IS TOP FIVE GFX ARTIST, BUT HE CANT DRAW A THING. SEVEN..HE TRIES TO THREATEN TEAMS LIKE THIS....IF YOU DO NOT USE THE LOGO I MADE FOR YOU, I WILL SPREAD SOME NASTY RUMOURS ABOUT YOU.... EIGHT..IF HE IS THIRTEEN YEARS OLD KID NINE.. HE TRIES TO JOIN EVERY POSSIBLE TEAM, BUT NOBODY WANTS HIM.. TEN...SO HE BUILD HIS OWN TEAM CALLED SPECRTLA, OR SOMETHING ELSE WITH THE SAME LETTERS...WE GOT A LIVING EVEDENT FROM THIS...IF YOU WANNA MORE INFO, CONTACT US... OKAY.....HEHE...KPT.CYNSY IS SOON SIXTEEN, AND WE GOT A BIIIG PARTY...EVERYONE IS WELCOME... L O T S OF HEINEKEN...AND LOTS OF OTHER BOOZE MARKS...THE DATE IS...THE ELEVENTH DAY OF SEPTEMBER....CONTACT US FOR MORE INFO. YARE ALL WELCOME. GEE...MAYBE I MIGHT WRITE SOME PERSONAL MESSAGES, BUT I DONT WANT TO...BCOZ NOBODY WANTS TO READ THEM. ONLY THOSE WHO ARE MY CONTACTS...VITUN PASKA KU TAAS VIITTIS KIRJOITTAA JOTAIN KIIHOITTAVAA..SPRUIT..OHO..VOI VITTU...AHEM...ALLRIGHT...WE WILL QUIT NOW, BECAUSE WE THINK HERE IS ENOUGH SHIT FOR YA. JUST READ ALL AGAIN IF YOU WANT. BUT WE WILL CONTINUE WRITING MORE IN OUR NEXT PRODUCTION...DONT NOW WHAT IT IS...COMRADE IS PROPABLY GOING TO DO A INTRO...HE WANTS TO.....HEY, DID I WRITE COMRADE AGAIN...I DID...MISS...COMMANDER I MENT...PHEW, KPT.CYNSY IS CALLED KAPU AND COMMANDER Z IS CALLED COMRADE. SO YOU JUST REMEMBER THAT TO UNDERSTAND OUR SCROLLS. I AM JUST DR.BLITZ OR BLITZI OR DOCTOR...SHIT, AGAIN WE HAVE SOME PROBLEMS IN QUITTING THE SCROLL, SO HERE WE GO............. . . . . . . . . . .